We all have things that we need to let go of. Some easier than others.
Maybe it’s drinking too much soda or letting go of an idea of a perfect person, or maybe it’s letting go of a dream, or maybe it’s letting go of a loved one.
Letting go is an easy 2 word combo “LET GO”. Seems simple, yet so complex and wrapped up in emotional ties, work, expectations, relationships, etc…
My current “let go” is a soon to graduate senior daughter of mine. 18 years of mentoring, teaching, loving, disciplining, encouraging…. and now…. let go. How a mother bird can push her baby out of the nest to fly is beyond me. The PROTECTOR in me gets in the way, my internal “don’t let anything happen to your kid or you’re a bad person” protector. Anyone have that? If not, good for you. If so, I feel you. It’s a tug of war like none other. This is where the “I care about what people think of ME” comes into play. Oh if I could bury this thing and be done with it. Why do I care so much about what other parents think of me? It’s ridiculous. I’m sure it stems from the beginning of parenting…
I started out my parenting journey as a “single mom”. I felt the judgement of the world on my shoulders in the 90s. Goodness there were Dateline shows and 60 Minute specials on the “single mom” epidemic. You would have thought I was a virus. So the judgement hung over my head and apparently still does, even though I’ve been married for 20 years and have 3 kids and should be sooooo past this.
So what do I really need to let go of? My daughter or my idea of being a perfect mom? Maybe I hit a cord as my eyes are welling up a bit. Will she be ok without me protecting her? There really is no guarantee. But I wonder…. this “perfect mom syndrome”… it sure might be getting in the way of her flying. So if letting go can be seen differently… seen as a releasing her to be who God created her to be, then maybe perfect mom syndrome can be done and be healed, so I can just be a mom.
Step 1: Admit I am not a perfect mom and be ok with failing my kids at times.
Step 2: Forgive myself for all the mistakes I’ve made over the last 22 years of motherhood.
Step 3: See my kids as separate people from me.
Step 4: One finger at a time… start letting go.
Step 5: Hold tight to this: God knew her before I did. He is never letting her go(even if she leaves this earth, He is not letting go of her). He is her protector and He does not fail her. Her will is in His hands, not mine and if something does happen, as hard as it may be, I have to trust God’s plan, His ways, His will… That’s easy to type, not easy to live. The one thing we can hold tight to and never let go of is Him.
Step 6: Realize I am not a good God, and let God do His job.
Step 7: Accept that she will go through struggles, just like everyone else. It is part of her story, her God story.
Step 8: Repeat step 1-8.
This is hard, I know it seems impossible. The risk is great, yet the risk is greater if I don’t let go… how long will I battle and hold her down. NO, I will not, NO I will NOT.
Regardless of what you’re working on letting go of, I want you to know this, if we don’t let go of our dream, our idea, our expectation, or whatever it might be, how will we ever know what might be re-birthed in our life? What might God have for us that is being reborn in our own journey? For me I have to realize that God has plans for my daughter, yet I believe he also had plans for me. How might I ever see the new plan if I can’t let go of what needs to be let go of? So I encourage you to hope for what is next. Trust that the a dying dream just might be reborn into an even better one.
To the moms and dads out there… regardless of WHAT you are letting go of… take off one finger at a time, little by little, step by step, know that the risk of holding on is greater than the risk of letting go. Trust the God of everything, He gave up His own son, He knows what it’s like to let go, and His letting go saved you and me.