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My Life can Change the World or the World can Change my Life

There are times in our lives we face unwanted or unexpected change.

My recent whirlwinds(plural, yes plural) have caused me to evaluate who I really am. Through my struggles, through my fears, my pain, my weakness, who am I?

What am I really capable of?

What am I in the eyes of God?

Who am I?

Within my family and friends circle in the last 4 months I have seen more suffering that I have ever witnessed in my lifetime, all at one time. My heart is breaking for others, whether they are fighting cancer, struggling with losing a job, a recovering alcoholic, a teenager being pursued by a grown man, someone trying to heal from an abusive past, back, knee, leg injuries, financial pitfalls, suicide, marriages falling apart, loss of a loved one, loss of direction, depression, anxiety and the list goes on and on.

Too often we don’t realize the impact we can have on one another’s life, good or bad. Our words are not considered “of value” in our own minds many times, yet God sees them as a huge responsibility. My words can build up or tear down. My actions can be healthy or unhealthy.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words. ~Prov 18:21

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My life can change the world or the world can change my life. 

With God all things are possible…. we’ve all heard it…. do you BELIEVE it?

And Jesus looking upon them said to them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. ~Matt 19:26

What am I really capable of? What am I not capable of? When we choose to let God become the captain of our ship, He will move mountains before you(Matt 17:20). He will pave the path(Isa 45:2)(1 Peter 1:7). I sit in my home, wondering how I could make a difference, my small circle of friends and family and my many walls I’ve built up over the years.

How can I, who lives behind walls make a difference?

Everytime I choose to share life, love, stories and experiences that the Lord has walked(and many times carried me) me through, I am making a difference. If you told me 4 years ago that I’d be speaking to people about emotions and the impact they have on our health, I would have laughed at you. “I don’t speak in front of people, I have stage fright! I would never do that!”

Yes, I wouldn’t, but God does!

Yet He uses us in our weakness for He is strong. I can, because He does. (2 Cor 12:9-10)

He has removed me from my comfort zone and thrown me into a state of flux, I MUST depend on Him to reach the hurting. I can’t do it alone. He is equipping me with more knowledge and understanding than I ever thought possible for this brain of mine. He is my knowledge and my wisdom.

In the eyes of God, I am His child. He sees me in my splendor, my Savior within me. He sees my potential and He is my biggest cheerleader. He sees me as a vessel for His message. He sees me apart from all of my flaws and sins. He sees me, just me apart from all of the pain, the heartache, the weakness, the fear, the doubt, He sees his Son in me. His perfect loving son who has placed within my heart his desires to help, to love, to know, to do what God asks of me.

Who am I? 

A Child of the One True King. I am a child of God.

The reason for the image below. If you didn’t know me, this is where you would find my heart, in my journals and in my paintings.

Find your own way to speak with the Lord and know that YOU are a child of God!

Blessings.

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Journalizing and Painting. Two intimate ways I work through emotions and speaking with God.

From the Wife of a Service Technician

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. -Colossians 3:23-24

 

From the Wife of a Service Technician

When I married my husband 17 years ago I knew his job would be demanding on his time, and summers were the worst(and still are!). Some days he would work from 6:00AM to 9:00PM and then be called out all weekend long. I shared my man with all of his customers, my kids shared their dad, and many times I would become angry that he was always gone. We fought a lot our first years of marriage over the fact that he missed so much time with me and our kids growing up……………Why, to serve you, to help you. It’s the nature of the beast, it’s his job.

6 years ago my husband and I decided to embark on a journey of running our own HVAC-R & Plumbing business and frankly I had no idea what I was in for. Prior to this I really had no idea what my husband did. I do the accounting and scheduling and he does the work. What I have learned over the past 6 years is this:

Although I spent years yelling at my husband, I had no idea what he was dealing with on a daily basis. Now I know, now I understand and now I don’t yell anymore, I only pray that in this world, we will focus on the good within it and get through the not so good.  He is subjected to the best living conditions and worst living conditions. He does jobs like working with sewage and has to deal with people not wanting to pay.  He has had sweet old ladies who bring him a glass of lemonade and has had curious little kids watch him in fascination as he works on an AC. There are good things, there are not so good things…The majority of this world doesn’t care about his life outside of what he can do for them and many do not think of the other customers that need care as well.  My husband receives phone calls at all hours and days, interrupting sleep, moments with our kids, dinners, life, and 90% are not emergencies. But he answers, he serves, he helps, he does so much and he doesn’t complain, he just talks people through or goes out to help. I sit in amazement anymore wondering how or why his drive and determination to help others continues through so much negativity.

That is, this is, his life…. and has been his life for almost 20 years… I don’t know how he has handled it for so long, I don’t know why he continues to serve…

Maybe it’s the satisfaction of feeling as though he is appreciated by some that outweighs the unappreciation others…

The little old lady that makes him a pie, or the young family who is in tears and gives him a hug when he gets their heat back on and it’s subzero degrees outside, or the farmer who just doesn’t have time to fix things because he is working so hard as well, or maybe it’s just the satisfaction of being a good person, doing the right thing and just loving to help… Those are the reasons he continues, I’m certain of it…

I pray those appreciations of his time become more and the negatives become less in his life…. Although my service husband is yelled at, lectured, screamed at, demanded to, and sometimes not paid for his work, he still goes, he still works, and he still serves and before you decide to say, “Well that’s his job, he picked it, or quit complaining he needs to do his job.”, I would love for you to be in his shoes one day in the summer when it’s 100+ degrees. Yes it’s his job, yes he picked it and I’m not complaining but more voicing my observations with a world that continues to shock me. I only wish the shocks would be more good than bad these days.

He is an amazing man, a hard worker and someone who wishes he could clone himself so he could help more people and also spend more time with his family. He truly has a servant heart, he loves to help so many people.

So my point is this; be patient and remember these techs are MORE than servicemen, they are husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, children of God and I love mine so very, very much…. Remember that when they are running behind they may have had to help an 90 year old woman who’s house is 100 degrees inside, or had to go unclog a flooded basement for a family of 7, or maybe they had to go visit their little girl who was in the hospital… maybe, just maybe we could all extend a little grace without explanation and give thanks for their hard work.

Sincerely,

The Wife of a Service Technician.

We love you and we appreciate you most of all.

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May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had. -Romans 15:5

De ((PRESS)) ion

As a child and young adult I was not one to pass up a good dare.  I craved adventure and loved the excitement of the unknown.  I’d jump off cliffs and out of barn lofts, I climbed through city tunnels.  I’d ride my bike with no hands and sometimes with my eyes shut.  When I played softball, there was no fear in playing 10 to 15 foot from the batter at first base, I loved it!  I loved the adventure, the excitement.

Then Something Changed.

Some where between my early 20’s and present day(pushing 40), I lost it.  I lost my flame for adventure… I lost part of myself.  I blame no one….  It was part of me though, it wasn’t stupid irresponsibility or acting crazy, it was part of me.  Adventure speaks to my soul, it’s just part of who I am.

Depression took a front row seat in my life soon after I was introduced to my first major life devastation.  You all know what I’m talking about(and if you don’t, thank your lucky stars!).  Each one of us has had that moment. Whether it’s a broken heart, a death, a shattered dream, etc.  I didn’t handle it well, not well at all.  I felt of no value anymore, as if my worth was but a pile of dirt, yet I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other and every decision and added activity was like being squeezed by a vise.  You truly are being PRESSED and the pressure feels like a ton of bricks to just make one simple decision…. “Do I get out of bed?”  So as you can imagine all this pressure snuffed out my flame for adventure.  I was confused about everything; life, family, friends, work, God.

Depression = Confusion.

God is not a God of confusion but a God of Peace.  1 Corinthians 14:33

My marriage and my children have brought me so much love, joy and happiness over the years, but I can honestly tell you, I haven’t always been a peach to live with…. or should I say, THEY could tell you I haven’t been a peach to live with.  It wasn’t all bad, but there was certainly enough bad.  Depression is an ugly thing…. an emotional rollercoaster from hell.  After my second child was born, I went into some pretty major postpartum depression and was put on an anti-depressant.  For the next 7 years, my life became pretty numb.  Two years into the medication, I suddenly lost my dad and depression again had me by the throat, choking the life right out of me.  I was all over the place emotionally.  Between fits of rage and crying and trying to be a good mom and wife, I just couldn’t find contentment…. it was such a fog, I was such a mess, lost in laziness, selfishness, sadness and hurt.

I was stuck in a bad place in my mind, in my emotions, in my heart… those are soul pieces….. and mine was broken.

I grew up learning about God and more than anything fearing Him, but not really getting to know Him. I didn’t understand that He truly cared about me.  God wanted to be there for me.  He wanted me to confide in Him with all my thoughts, all my struggles, all my worries and all my praises… He wanted to get to know me, even with all of my sins, all of my baggage, all of my mistakes.  I needed to follow Him.

I am the light of the world.  The person who follows me will never live in darkness.  He will have the light that gives life.  John 8:12

About 5 years ago I finally let God in and started healing, truly healing.  I started to change, I started to understand that I could make a difference, I could inspire others, I could be an example of a bad story that was turned around by the grace of God.  I learned that this depression was nothing more than a veil put over my eyes to prevent me from becoming who God wanted me to be.  It kept me locked in a position that frankly anyone who knew me growing up, knew THAT PERSON was not me.  A frozen state of confusion, anger and distrust.

Our faces, then, are not covered.  We all show the Lord’s glory, and we are being changed to be like him.  This change in us brings more and more glory.  And it comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.  2 Corinthians 3:18 (ICB)

I thank God so much for bring the women and men into my life that have helped guide and teach me on my spiritual journey.  Learning the importance of balance in the body, soul and spirit has brought me so much freedom.  I wish I could tell you there was a quick fix, but there isn’t.  It took time, it took patience and it took work on my part.  I had to want to change…. I had to heal.  I studied, I read, I filled my mind with God’s word.  I shared with others, I grew with others, I worked through some major misconceptions in my mind and I was breaking free from the lies in my mind.

I was finally seeing the truth, that God loves me just as I am.

There is no need to perform for Him or for anyone, He knows my heart and yours too.  He is the only one that can fill that void in our lives.  He is with us through it all, good, bad and ugly and He will continue to be with us always.   I slip up, I mess up, I still have things that I need to lay at the foot of the cross every day, every hour, but I am progress.  He has work for me to do, He has work for all of us to do.  I have come so far from a snuffed out flame with no desire to truly live this life I have been given…

For me, my medication has been reduced to the word of God.  I seek Him for comfort, I seek Him for guidance and so much more. 

This past week I was presented with an opportunity to skydive at no cost.  Yes, skydive from 10,000 feet in the air from a tiny Cessna airplane that seats 5, including the pilot.  I truly believe God gave me this opportunity as a gift.  So, I have come full circle.  That flame that was snuffed out by depression was about to be relit.  It was time.  God is the only one that can set us free from our hurts, our pains, our struggles, our worries, our limitations…

So, today…. I will fly

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20 years in the making, I was finally suiting up.  I was putting my life and my trust into complete strangers hands.  One would strap me up and teach me the basics and then another would be my tandem(the person I will be strapped to during the fall).  As our tiny airplane took off to ascend to 10,000 feet, my stomach was in knots.  I felt nauseous and considered backing out, but I put on my brave front, inside I was terrified.  I whispered to God, “Keep us all safe, I trust you, I trust you…”  So as that tiny door came open and two of the jumpers went out, it left me and my tandem.  He says to me, “Sweetheart, this is what we call a ‘Come to Jesus Meeting’.”  And I thought, I’ve heard this before and I should be scared… but I’m not… because I know Him and my life is in HIS hands. It was time for the flame to ignite….

I know the Lord is always with me.  I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.  Psalm 16:8

No control, no judging, no cares of what others think, no depression, no fear, NO FEAR…. I was at peace with what was about to happen, God was holding me in his hands.  It was as if my soul was jump started, my soul was revived, renewed and alive as we stepped out on that tiny 16″ x 8″(guesstamation) platform and let go and fell.

We fell forward into a somersault, tumbling until we grabbed air.  As we free fell for about 30 seconds I felt peace and butterflies in my tummy, excitement and joy, wonder and insanity in the thought of what I was doing……..  The 5 to 10 minute decent down was beautiful and peaceful, although it was completely foreign to me it was nice to not be in the driver’s seat and to just enjoy the ride.  It makes me think about God and how many times we want to be in the driver’s seat when He just wants us to enjoy the ride.

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Depend on the Lord.  Trust him, and he will take care of you.  Psalm 37:5

So my message to you today is this:  If you are fighting depression I ask you to turn to God, turn to His word and know that you are being lifted up in prayer.  Our strength alone is not strong enough, we need Him…. we need His strength.  He can bring you healing, He can bring you peace.  It takes time and it takes work.  Pray about it, God will show you the way, if you let Him.

Thanks for letting me share my life with you!  God Bless!

Home Sweet Home

Since February of this year, every free moment we have has been consumed by working on our soon to be new home.  There have been some not so good surprises and some unexpected blessings…. all along the way we have enjoyed the progress taking shape in such a short amount of time.  We have worked so hard to make the best decisions for our family on functionality and doing it on a budget.  There is still so much work that needs to be done, but we are making progress.  All in all, everything has turned out to be a blessing, whether it’s weird wallpaper that brought laughter or enough room for us to have a garden.  We have spent time together as a family, everyone has had a hand in it, everyone has helped.  Every obstacle we have faced we have had someone to guide us to the answer.  We are thankful, we are blessed.

 We have all benefited from the rich blessings he brought to us—blessing upon blessing heaped upon us!  John 1:16 TLB

(warning…. many photos below….. more reading to follow the 5 million photos)

As my husband and I were having a discussion last night, while working on the fireplace, something hit my heart heavy…..  All these decisions, all of these updates, remodeling, out with the old, in with the new, all of it….. every single improvement….  E V E R Y single one is worth nothing…… N O T H I N G ….. without my God, without my family…..  Our home is not a house, our home is where my family is, where I laugh with people I love and enjoy quite peaceful moments with God….. Where I feel safe and secure, home is our resting place, our joy, a place of hugs, a place of resolutions  ….. no matter how perfect or imperfect that place may be……..

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  Matthew 6:21

Things…. stuff…. how important are they?  I could have the perfect kitchen, the perfect hardwood floors, the perfect spa bathrooms, the perfect walk-in closet, the perfect deck with the perfect pool and the perfect yard with the perfect landscaping, with the perfect decorations and the perfect perfect perfect perfect!!!!!  It is all nothing……… it’s just stuff….. when we are gone from this earth….. it is just stuff……

I am blessed, I am thankful, I am honored that God has entrusted this blessing to our family and we will do our best to take good care of all of our blessings…..  But what we have is God’s, not our own.  He made it possible, it is His.  His house, His furniture, His money, His land, His butterfly, His turtle, His blessings to give……  See…. He provides all things to everyone, He provides the jobs, the money, the opportunities, the land, the home, the family…. even my kids are His……

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.  Colossians: 1:16

So I am yet again smacked with a 2×4(No construction pun intended 😉 ), it reminds me that what I think is mine is NOT mine, it is His and I am thankful….. I am thankful.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.  Psalm 107:1

Are you thankful today?

Blessings

Unrealistic Expectations….

A quick note to the recently divorced, separated, brokenhearted, to my friends who have tried everything to save your marriage and your hearts are shattered, I want you to know you are being lifted up in prayer!  There are some situations that I cannot relate to at all, but God can, He knows what you’re going through!!  He is always there for you!  Amen? Amen!  This post is my opinion, if you do not agree, that’s okay, if you question me, that’s okay.  As long as you are seeking out God and His Word, that is what is most important!

I was reading a shared post on Facebook this week that consisted of advice to our young ladies(daughters, granddaughters, nieces, friends) on choosing a husband.  It spoke of avoiding at all cost men who are: lazy, disrespectful, a slob, a druggie, the critical, the debtor, a user.  My heart broke reading this …. maybe that seems weird to you?

As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

This post, in my opinion, sets up our children to judge and to seek out faults in people instead of looking closer and seeing the good in a person.  The advice in this Facebook post suggested that our young ladies find the perfect man.  Friends, there is only one perfect man and that’s Jesus.  I understand having high expectations, but let’s be realistic.  I have 2 daughters and 1 son  and after reading this, my son is doomed and so are my daughters!  Why? Because they can be messy, they can be lazy and they haven’t grasped the concept of saving money very well yet!  They can also be disrespectful at times and sometimes critical of others.

Ask yourself this question:  Have you ever at any time in your life had any of these characteristics?  If not, WOW, good for you!  As for me, I can’t cast a stone, not even pick one up.  I can look at that list and see myself in every single one at one time or another in my life.  Maybe that’s why it bothers me.  God changed me, God brought me out of all of that.  I have faith that He can bring anyone out of these strongholds, BUT they must be willing.

I want more than anything for my kids to find a God-loving, hard-working, nice, responsible, smart, healthy, humble, wise, helping mate, but we all stumble, we all fall short at times.  But I don’t want my kids to have completely unrealistic expectations.  They need to be led down their path by God, not by me or my idea of a perfect husband/wife for them.

in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight. Proverb 3:6

What about all the marriages that have these characteristics in them now? (Men/Women)  For instance, I use to spend a lot of money on dumb stuff (It was a coping mechanism for grief.), my husband is a messy person, we both have been lazy at times, we both have been selfish at times, critical, disrespectful.  So is my marriage doomed?  No, I don’t think so.

Abraham was NOT perfect, Isaiah was NOT perfect, Jacob was NOT perfect, Peter was NOT perfect, Paul was NOT perfect!  The Bible is chalked full of examples of non-perfect people and how God was able to work in their lives.  What happens if your “perfect” husband/wife changes once you’re married and one of these characteristics pops up?  Then what?  I believe we are to take it to God in prayer, He wants to guide you in your marriage.  There are some cases, for the safety of yourself and children, you need to get out of the relationship.  I believe God wants to heal all marriages, but sometimes it’s a lot more complicated.

This is what I’ve learned from my marriage over the past 15 years:  God can change anyone, but many times the person that needs to change is the one staring you back in the mirror.  It’s a hard truth.  Through the first 10 years of my marriage I was hell-bent on changing my husband and molding him into the “perfect man”.  It didn’t work.  It did nothing but cause disappointment and it made him feel disrespected and I felt unloved.  My husband and I separated briefly, I was ready to give up.  Finally, God changed MY heart and I started looking at what needed to change in ME, not him.  I prayed for God to open my eyes, so I could see my husband the way God saw him and to help me remove the cloud of judgment I had placed over him.  God brought change in my life AND my husband’s life when I gave our marriage to God and quit trying to fix it myself.  This did NOT happen over night!

Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32

My husband is messy, but he is the hardest working man I know.  My husband has habits that I don’t like, but he loves me and I know that without a doubt!  We both have made mistakes and we both have learned to forgive and we have grown closer to God and each other because of it.  So with that said, let’s not give these children unrealistic expectation to the point of them giving up before they even get started.  I want my kids to be happy and to marry a good person, strong in faith.  But if things don’t go perfectly, it’s okay, God wants to help you!  Marriage is not all flowers and sweet kisses, and I don’t want my kids to get that stuck in their heads.  Marriage can be tough and it also can be great, but it takes a lot of hard hard work!

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Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honour one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Now, for the abusive(physical/mental) soon to be spouse or spouse…… I pray for you …. I pray that God would do a great work in you and change your heart!  I pray you will find God and know that he will always meet you where ever you are in your life.  God is there for you!  He can help.  For the abused, I would suggest extreme caution in these relationships.  It would be a good idea to seek out council, NOW.  I pray God would guide you in the best decision for you, your spouse(or soon to be spouse) and your children(if you have any).

Also, one more item to cover…. Some people are called to be single and don’t you for one minute think that is a bad thing!  God has great plans for YOU! The apostle Paul(he may have been a widow), Jeremiah, Elijah, John the Baptist and Jesus Christ, Mary and Martha, Mary Magdalene, Miraim(Moses’ sister) were all single.  God did great work in their lives!  So don’t think for a minute God can’t do great things in YOUR lives!

Now, so I’m not a complete negative ninny about this Facebook post, these were a few of my favorite parts:

Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct thy paths.”

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Ask the Lord now and every day of your life to choose for you (your mate), and to show you when He does. 

 

Here is my challenge to you;  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Romans 12:12 

We are called to be joyful in hope; God is our hope in our marriage and in our life, REJOICE!…. Patient in affliction; when times get tough in your marriage and in life, be patient and trust in the Lord!….. faithful in prayer; PRAY, PRAY, PRAY and have FAITH!!…. Prayer is about relationship.  God wants you to talk to him…. about EVERYTHING!  He wants you to bring your hurts, your doubts, your questions, your thoughts, your requests, your thanks and your praises to him, about your marriage and about everything, have FAITH!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 (NIV) 

So, have faith in our God that He is bigger than any situation you face or your young people face.  Pray for your young ladies and gentlemen to find God’s chosen husband/wife for them, but trust God in His plan for their lives AND YOURS.

Blessings on a tough subject!  Lots to think about.  Amen?  Amen!

Below is a link to the post:

http://blogs.christianpost.com/guest-views/letter-to-my-six-granddaughters-on-whom-to-marry-and-whom-to-avoid-21034/

Lead me….

The way you tell me to live is always right; help me understand it so I can live to the fullest.  Psalm 119:144 MSG

4 years ago we uprooted our children, gave up all sense of security with a steady job, insurance benefits and left our home to become business owners in a new town.  When the opportunity came to us to purchase an existing plumbing/heating and air business my husband was ecstatic(did you notice I put “my husband” was ecstatic??).  He had always wanted to run his own business.  My own opinion was shaky.  See, I was running my own business and had been for 10 years.  My business started as a small work-from-home freelance design business and had grown large enough to support a storefront(although the last couple years of my business had declined, as most small town businesses did at that time, I was not ready to hang it up).  My business was like a baby to me, I had started it, grown it and was not ready to let it go.

Be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude]. Ephesians 4:23 AMP

God had been working on my heart and mind the 2-3 years prior to this decision.  He led me to some bible study groups that were helping me see some things that needed to change (AKA “CONTROL FREAK”). Slowly but surely I was learning to let go of control and give it to God.  My mind shifted from “what if” to “trust God”.  I put all of it in God’s hands and said “If you want us there, you’ll make it happen.”  God provided.

Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5 NCV

Please don’t think this process happened over night, it was months and years and I am human and I fell short many times.  I remember being very angry with my husband and blaming him for my stress.  We definitely had some rough times.  There were days I was so frustrated with the change that I would have complete “freak outs”.  I’d lose it because I had NO control over what was going on.  There was so much change that had taken place.  Besides moving, losing insurance, and wondering how much money we would make each week, I also closed my business and started working for my husband.  I was reluctant and I definitely put it off as long as I could, but God helped me to see that my husband needed my help and that it was time for me to step back and let him take the lead.  I knew deep down inside this was God’s plan, but it was overwhelming at times.  I battled with my mind and constantly had to reset my thoughts to what God wanted for us, not what I wanted.   I felt like obedience was being drilled into my head.  Every verse I turned to, every bible study I went to, every mentor I spoke to kept referring to obedience, to God’s plan.

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.  John 14:21

All these blessings shall come upon you and over take you, because you obey the voice of the Lord your God.  Deuteronomy 28:2 NKJV

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5

Through this process I learned to put my whole trust in God.  I had no choice but to trust God and in that trust I was able to find peace.  We gave up our new home, we gave up all sense of security with a steady paycheck and insurance, we left our church family and friends, we were starting over and uprooting our kids from a comfortable school setting to becoming “the new kids”.  We couldn’t do anything but cling to God.  I look back now and think, “Wow, who does that???” But God wanted us here and here we are.

I have learned to be content with whatever I have.  Philippians 4:11 NRSV

When we chose to move we also chose to down size our home, to save on expenses and lessen the financial load.  We went from a much larger new home to a much smaller fixer upper.  We loved our new neighborhood, and we were determined to make it work.  I’ve become so proud of our sacrifice that it’s been hard to even consider leaving.  I actually felt guilty over the thought of leaving and felt greedy for wanting more.  God has blessed us so much through this process over the past 4 years, with the business, home improvements, kids doing well in school and making new friends and finding a new church family that I just didn’t want to ask for any more.

Ironically we were presented with an opportunity to buy a bigger home(fixer upper) and again we were convicted to turn this over to God.  If he wanted us there, he would make it happen, if not, then we would stay put.  It’s such a strange place to be, when you change your outlook on decisions.  All of the sudden it’s not about “what if”, it’s about “God’s will”.  We have learned to trust Him in so many aspects of our lives instead of trying to control the outcome ourselves.

Lord, you are my shield, my wonderful God who gives me courage.  Psalm 3:3 NCV

So to wrap up this little story I want to share a picture with you, if you think God can’t speak, I beg to differ.  When my husband went out to look at the new possible home for us he was seeking God’s guidance on our decision, and this is what he found on the ground when he stepped out of his truck.

God is Good

(this is a bookmark laying in the yard that says “OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD.”  This house (out in the country) has been vacant for 3 years.)

So, needless to say we will be moving into our new home in the next few months and we are very excited and very thankful for the blessings and opportunities that God has given us.

He that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.  Hebrews 11:6 KJV

So, my challenge to you it this; Is God trying to speak to you about something in your life?  Do you feel there is a change that needs to happen, big change or little change?  Listen to God.  Seek out his guidance in all aspects of your life, he can do so many amazing things in your life, but you have to trust him and believe and listen, even when it may sound a bit crazy.

Blessings to YOU!