Let GO(D)…

We all have things that we need to let go of. Some easier than others.

Maybe it’s drinking too much soda or letting go of an idea of a perfect person, or maybe it’s letting go of a dream, or maybe it’s letting go of a loved one.

Letting go is an easy 2 word combo “LET GO”. Seems simple, yet so complex and wrapped up in emotional ties, work, expectations, relationships, etc…

My current “let go” is a soon to graduate senior daughter of mine. 18 years of mentoring, teaching, loving, disciplining, encouraging…. and now…. let go. How a mother bird can push her baby out of the nest to fly is beyond me. The PROTECTOR in me gets in the way, my internal “don’t let anything happen to your kid or you’re a bad person” protector. Anyone have that? If not, good for you. If so, I feel you. It’s a tug of war like none other. This is where the “I care about what people think of ME” comes into play. Oh if I could bury this thing and be done with it. Why do I care so much about what other parents think of me? It’s ridiculous. I’m sure it stems from the beginning of parenting…

I started out my parenting journey as a “single mom”. I felt the judgement of the world on my shoulders in the 90s. Goodness there were Dateline shows and 60 Minute specials on the “single mom” epidemic. You would have thought I was a virus. So the judgement hung over my head and apparently still does, even though I’ve been married for 20 years and have 3 kids and should be sooooo past this.

So what do I really need to let go of? My daughter or my idea of being a perfect mom? Maybe I hit a cord as my eyes are welling up a bit.  Will she be ok without me protecting her? There really is no guarantee. But I wonder…. this “perfect mom syndrome”… it sure might be getting in the way of her flying. So if letting go can be seen differently… seen as a releasing her to be who God created her to be, then maybe perfect mom syndrome can be done and be healed, so I can just be a mom.

Step 1: Admit I am not a perfect mom and be ok with failing my kids at times.

Step 2: Forgive myself for all the mistakes I’ve made over the last 22 years of motherhood.

Step 3: See my kids as separate people from me.

Step 4: One finger at a time… start letting go.

Step 5: Hold tight to this: God knew her before I did. He is never letting her go(even if she leaves this earth, He is not letting go of her). He is her protector and He does not fail her. Her will is in His hands, not mine and if something does happen, as hard as it may be, I have to trust God’s plan, His ways, His will… That’s easy to type, not easy to live. The one thing we can hold tight to and never let go of is Him.

Step 6: Realize I am not a good God, and let God do His job.

Step 7: Accept that she will go through struggles, just like everyone else. It is part of her story, her God story.

Step 8: Repeat step 1-8.

This is hard, I know it seems impossible. The risk is great, yet the risk is greater if I don’t let go… how long will I battle and hold her down. NO, I will not, NO I will NOT.

Regardless of what you’re working on letting go of, I want you to know this, if we don’t let go of our dream, our idea, our expectation, or whatever it might be, how will we ever know what might be re-birthed in our life? What might God have for us that is being reborn in our own journey? For me I have to realize that God has plans for my daughter, yet I believe he also had plans for me. How might I ever see the new plan if I can’t let go of what needs to be let go of? So I encourage you to hope for what is next. Trust that the a dying dream just might be reborn into an even better one.

To the moms and dads out there… regardless of WHAT you are letting go of… take off one finger at a time, little by little, step by step, know that the risk of holding on is greater than the risk of letting go. Trust the God of everything, He gave up His own son, He knows what it’s like to let go, and His letting go saved you and me.

Be blessed.

Holey Weak

Yep, I spelled that wrong on purpose.

This week has been a doozy. I’ve yelled at my husband more than I’d care to admit, my daughters car had flat tire repairs numerous times, we gave the government a LOT of money this week(the joy of entrepreneurship)… yay April 15(imagine my eyes rolling), and I have just struggled getting anything completed. It’s been annoyances and distractions more than anything. In the grand scheme of things, it’s really not been that bad. I’ve been letting unrealistic expectations get the best of me. Some moments feel like I’m just trying not to loose my s^@t verses seeing a blessing in the chaos. I have felt weak, I have felt off, my schedule has felt like a piece of Swiss cheese, it’s just got a lot of holes in it.

So this Holy Week thing has me thinking. Makes sense, in the spiritual realm, that things would be chaotic. I mean it’s only the most important week in all of Christianity. It’s the fulfillment of prophecy, it’s the key to unlocking the Old Law and freeing us with the New Law. The veil is torn, the Holy of Holies is now open to everyone. It’s a pretty big deal. Jesus death is vitally important to our salvation. He suffered betrayal, physical abuse, mental abuse, was beaten so badly and then brutally nailed to a cross. At any time He could have called out to God and said, “NOPE, NOT DOING IT! THEY AREN’T WORTH IT!!” But He didn’t, because to Him(God in human form) We were worth it, we are worth it.

I use to struggle with Jesus. I doubted His part in the big plan. I questioned whether He was REALLY God’s son, and also God Himself. The trinity perplexed me, the far-fetched historical references of conception and miracles made it a hard ‘sell’ for me. It wasn’t until I discovered my Jewish roots that it all started making sense why I doubted Christ. My great great great etc… grandfather was a Rabbi for goodness sake. The family line, the generational stronghold of questioning if Jesus was the fulfillment of prophecy was ‘gifted’ to me on down the line. The Wittenberg spiritual genes were causing a bit of a riff in my belief system. I never doubted that there was a God. Always knew there was definitely a bigger power in charge. For me it took nothing but a sunrise or sunset to believe that.  But this Jesus person… I struggled. So holes in my belief system and doubt sure didn’t make my faith journey easy.

So all this suffering Christ went through, it just didn’t make sense to me WHY would he do that? Why go through the agony of suffering when your DAD is GOD!? That’s what got me every time. God loved us that much. To take it all upon Himself in human form so we could have a personal relationship with Him, with Christ and gift us the Holy Spirit. To live this life not just WITH God, but with God WITHIN us. *Mind blown*

When I watched the movie, The Case for Christ, for the first time it was very eye opening in my doubting Thomas scientific mind(I admit, I’ve watched it several times). The scientific documentation on the amount of people that witnessed not only His death but also saw Him after He had died was enough to cut the doubt tie for me. So many accounts for Him as a risen Savior. So many copies of the manuscripts over and over accounting the same thing. All the “he said she said” went out the door when I discovered so many people said the same thing, like 500 plus accounting the events happening at that time, they were there!!

I want you to know it’s ok to battle this faith out. It’s ok to ask questions, it causes us to dig in deeper. THAT is how a relationship is developed and THAT is what Christ wants, a relationship, not head knowledge… a relationship. The closer you get to Him the easier it is to make those right choices, to fight for your peace, to repent, reset, renew, repeat.

So back to my craptastic week…

It has felt yucky, disconnected, chaotic and my moods have been all over the place. But I’ve battled, I’ve fought to get to peace, and by fight I mean surrender it to God. I’ve taken my crappy mood and told God, “Dude, I’m sorry, I’m just struggling.” He knows, he knows, and I think to myself, Jesus had a pretty rough Holy week too!(Read Luke 22!) Imagine what Jesus went though during holy week. One day everyone is waving palm branches at you and singing Hosanna, and then a few days later one of your own closest to you betrays you… for money!! And another denies you, and then the cross. All for this… Fulfillment of prophecy. It had to happen and He knew it was going to happen. The suffering had to happen, so we could be saved from ourselves. You are saved because of Him, not because of yourself and your own doing. His brutal beating, betrayal, death and all …. for you, He is in the business of saving souls.

Now we get to choose.

Do we believe that this man is God, and that this Jesus is also the Son of God? Do we believe not only IN Him, but BELIEVE HIM? Even though we don’t know everything, or understand everything, (for who can understand the full mind and ways of Christ?) can we believe and leave our understanding to Him? Can you be all-in to a God that gave up His own Son? Can you be all-in to a God that loves you so much and KNOWS your suffering, for HE HIMSELF suffered for you? Can you be all-in when life seems full of holes and you seem just TOO weak to get through this week?

I challenge you to receive the gift of Christ this Holy Week. No performance can make you worthy of it. Accept that He did it for you and expects nothing in payment. He is the payment. And now, we get to live as a receivers of Christ, and do this: Let love flow to us, and through us. Live in the Spirit, love in the Spirit and let the Spirit flow in and through you. And maybe those holes can be filled with God’s light and maybe in our weakness we can truly let Him be strong.

I hope you have a blessed Holy Week.

Let Him Shine.

Help…

As many of you know I am an advocate for wellness, a seeker of healing in body, mind and spirit. The mind and spirit have so much influence on the well being of the body. I’ve spend years diving into mind strength, emotional healing and spiritual growth. This journey started almost 10 years ago as my health was wavering and so was my emotions and spiritual walk. You see, when all three are weak, it’s a recipe for a health disaster. I became very sick, doctor after doctor, test after test, no one could help. As I read through the doctors notes, after requesting medical records, comments like, “difficult” patient showed up frequently. I’m sure I was difficult… no answers, no direction, just sick, hurting physically and mentally…

My journey to wellness started with spiritual growth. I took this amazing bible study class called, “Breaking Free”. Layers of my past were mended and the journey to health began. Over the next 10 years I dove into many bible studies, journalizing and worshiping. Healing continued. About 2 years ago I felt a draw to learn more about the power of the mind and what part we have in our wellness journey through our thoughts, and my health continued to improve. My body has been my biggest struggle as I’ve been REALLY healthy, and REALLY not healthy over my life span. I’ve ran numerous races, half marathons and did a triathlon. I was a college athlete and was very strong physically. I also have been 40 lbs over weight, completely lazy and neglected my body by NOT exercising at all!! This yo-yo journey with my body as been a mess. Although I’m well (not taking any medications, only supplements, and have no “conditions”) I know I need to work on getting into a healthier routine with exercise and eating. I’m better than I was, but still need improvement. I’m a work in progress. We all are.

I have felt a call to help people, and encourage others in their emotional healing, mind strength along with spiritual strength. This is what I do, encourage, guide, help. I’ve many times considered going back to school to get a degree to practice medicine or become a counselor. Maybe someday. I’m 43, I’ve got plenty of time… right?

Here is the hard part. All this education, all this time I’ve spent diving into books, resources, learning from my own experience and others, I can’t help my own daughter. She is 18 years old. We have been taking her to doctors since she was 3 months old. Skin issues, joint pain, stomach pain, vitamin deficiencies, anemia, muscle pain, headaches, allergies… The weirdest symptom has been her sensitivity to water on her body… it’s evident to me she has a compromised immune system and major inflammation. On and on we go, test after test, doctor after doctor, medicine after medicine, vitamin after vitamin… I believe we have tried everything from anti-candida diet to allergy shots, MRIs to lab tests for every Auto Immune DisEase under the sun… We’ve done emotional work, counseling, dermatologists, allergy specialists, neurologist, sleep studies, raindrop technique, Chiropractors, Naturopathic doctor. The ND was the closest to getting somewhere. The dietary changes and supplements helped for awhile.

My point, I’m tired, I’m hurting, she’s hurting. As her mother, and a wellness advocate, I feel like a failure, I just can’t come up with an answer for her, no one can. I’ve prayed for her for healing, I’ve went to healing services on her behalf. I’ve interceded over and over and over. What can I do? What can SHE do? What?

I know God has a reason for this, maybe it’s to direct her as she is going into the medical field. It’s so hard, she’s been well for 6 months in a row for her entire life. She lives a roller coaster wellness ride. I hate this. I want to fix it. I want to “find” the cure, I want someone to find the cure, I’ve prayed for immaculate healing, just make it go away.

I’m the one who tells people to NOT claim disEase, that your thoughts can reverse your health, that emotional release can bring physical healing and yet here I sit…. empty handed, feeling defeated and helpless. It could be so much worse, I know, she could be fighting for her life, and maybe part of me feels she is, that this “thing” might consume her if we don’t figure it out. It’s a fear, I’m being real, I could pretend I’m not afraid, what good does that do. Maybe I’m playing God, maybe I want to fix her… who wouldn’t want to fix their kid! I just want her to live like other kids. I don’t want advice anymore, I don’t want another suggestion, I just want her better. I want her well forever. I hate this.

I’m tired of doctors being horrible to us. She has had some of the worse experiences with doctors, the worst one telling her “If you want the boys to like you, you might want to use the cremes on your eczema.”… I don’t know but the girl has had HORRIBLE experiences with doctors, therefore putting a real bad taste in our mouths for anyone even giving a shit about her well being… or seeing her as just another number walking in the door. I’m sick of it. I hate it. I just want it gone so she can move on. I worry about her claiming sickness over her life as she doesn’t know any different… I look at my girl today, she’s been home sick for 2 days this week, dropped 10 lbs(she’s already a size 2!), rash everywhere, can’t eat, stomach and back pain, weak. And off she goes to school today, straight A student, working as a waitress after school, always caring and loving on her friends…. People just don’t know the struggle she has. She says she stays busy so she doesn’t have to think about it.

This is a raw area in my mom journey as my girl is heading off to college next August. I want her well for what comes next in her life. I want more than anything for her to claim health over her life, with positive thoughts and spiritual strength. At the end of the day though, she could still be sick, this is the part I just don’t understand.

We do not get the privilege of understanding God’s reasons or will over our lives or others lives. All I can do is offer it up to Him and give it to Him over and over and over. I pray for her restoration, for healing of body, mind, spirit. We continue with tests and advice from doctors as she flares up… we continue….

This brilliant child of ours will move mountains regardless of her physical health, she already has. Press on child, press on and trust in His reasons. Your health may be a struggle but your brilliance and spirit can’t be touched, signed sealed and delivered by the King of Kings. Keep fighting, claim freedom over it, I believe healing is possible.

If I might ask you to offer up healing prayers for my daughter I would greatly appreciate it.

Love, a tired mom

Fatherless

As many of you know I have recently been to Africa, and though you may be tired of hearing about it, I’m quite certain the revelations from this trip will continue well into the next 365 days.

Straight up, Ethiopia rocked my world. It rocked my world in many ways, hard and good. My brain and my heart have been reset and have been opened in a way I never would have expected.

Leading up to this trip I felt like the Lord gave me a “heads up” that my father would somehow be part of this trip. It didn’t make sense to me at the time, yet it sure does now.

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The first full day we spent in Ethiopia was with Glory to Glory church. They worshiped in a tiny concrete building with plastic chairs on a broken concrete floor. I remember looking at the stained walls and the open building to the outside world. People were gathered inside the building and outside the building. Some awaiting food afterwards as we were to serve the people. It was a very humbling experience to face famine head on. Poverty here was so much more than the material positions we think of, this was famine of the heart, the spirit, which is what poverty truly is for each of us. They were starving inside, I saw eyes of emptiness, and it was hard. Though there were empty eyes, I also saw and heard beautiful praise, beautiful hope and beautiful faith, and eyes that shined. I had to let the good out weigh the hard, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced. The praise and worship wasn’t in english, yet I felt the Spirit moving so heavy, He surpasses language barriers, that’s for sure!!

After church we went to a local soccer tournament that was started up by ManUp and Go many years ago(this is the organization I went with). To see the kids playing and so many children watching was beautiful. Many of the kids came up to our team, immediately wanting to communicate with us and also asking for gifts or money. Big gulp, NOT giving to them was difficult and thinking of “what do I have to offer them that would be lasting” was a challenge. Many of them went to a local school around the area and some did not. I spoke with them the best I could. Language was a barrier, but the Spirit was not.

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One young boy followed me around speaking to me, laughing at how different I was, and playing hand clapping games with me. I thought the one thing I can do is teach them a simple game of different handshakes, and they loved it. Finally this young boy approached me along with another person on our team. We began asking this young boy where he lived and about his family. He explained that He was fatherless and lived with his mother. “No papa.”, he said. My heart immediately connected with him.

This was the first time dad showed up on the trip.

I explained to him that I to didn’t have a papa. I offered to pray with him and he accepted. This was what I had to offer, something much more lasting than a handout. I was able to point him to his Heavenly Father who will always be with him. For the remainder of the time he followed me around the soccer area. Every once in a while he would say, “Me, No papa, You, No papa.” There was a sparkle in his eyes when we would lock eyes. We had a connection in suffering, and somehow, my suffering gave him hope, hope that he can get through this.

That day in Ethiopia was Father’s Day. I dreaded that day for many years. I learned how to celebrate my husband and avoid being titled “fatherless”, but with my husband not there I had to face it head on. I was given a moment to use my hurt to help. Only God can do that.

That evening I dove into the Word. My daily devotion said this:

Psalms 68:5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation.

This is His holy habitation, to be a father to the fatherless! I was able to point this young man to Abba. We are all sons and daughters of the one true King, Abba. How beautiful that the Lord took a broken place within me and gave a child hope through it.

Today is my father’s birthday. So this is a present for him. In my loss, I was able to connect with this young child and give him hope in his Heavenly Father. Without my loss, I would never have been able to. God is so much bigger, so much smarter, and so much more everything.

Happy Birthday Dad, I miss you, I love you, be seeing you.

Blessings.

Miracles

I wonder if you’ve experienced a miracle. I also wonder how many unseen miracles happen in a day? I look back over my life for the last 42 years and can name many, some involving my own life, some involving healing miracles, some involving redirection to safety and so on. This last one, it’s hit me hard. It was my child’s life.

Over the past few months I have felt an urgency to pray protection over my children, asking the Lord to send legions of angels to protect them. I didn’t understand the urgency, in fact I felt it was weird that I was asking for angels, this isn’t something I’ve done much of in the past, yet I listened to the whisper and I requested just that.

Don’t you realize that I could ask my Father for thousands of angels to protect us, and he would send them instantly? Matthew 26:53

This past Saturday I was eating continental breakfast at a hotel with a friend talking about life, softball and my recent trip to Africa as we were preparing to take on day two of our softball tournament. My daughter was unable to play the night before as she was working. It’s a battle with coaching 18U, the kids are at an age where many have jobs and other responsibilities to balance it all out. My daughter was driving up Saturday morning to meet us at the fields for the tournament. While I was eating breakfast one of her friends said, “Abby’s trying to get ahold of you.” I explained I had left my phone in the hotel room and her friend offered her phone to me and said I should call her.

When Abby answered I could tell she was rattled and crying. She said, “Mom, I’ve been in an accident, I’m okay, it’s not big, just can you come get me?” I grabbed my things and rushed out the door driving to the location she sent me from her phone. She was less than 15 minutes away from me. So I sped to her as fast as I could. As I approached the location spot I saw 1 police car with lights on and my daughters car out on the edge of a field. She was standing in her softball uniform by the car talking to the officer. As I walked to the car I notice the tires were destroyed, the window was cracked and the passenger airbag was deployed. I ran to her and wrapped her up in my arms to insure she was ok, this was NOT a small accident.

Abby had fallen asleep at the wheel. She explained to me that she knew she should have pulled over because she was struggling staying awake and felt bad she didn’t listen to her instincts. All I cared about was she was ok. She had no visible markings, no scratches, no bruises, not even a sore muscle.

The police officer asked me to come with him away from her. He directed me to the back of the car. He pointed out to me her path. What I could see from the ending point was first she missed a tree, then she missed a sign. He informed me that I needed to recognize the path she took and how ‘lucky’ she was to not have rolled the car. He said, “She should have rolled it at least in 3 different places. But it didn’t.” He looked like he saw a ghost. He then informed me, “THIS doesn’t happen, I’ve seen this too many times where the end result was not good.” I took it in the best I could, then called dad to take care of the towing and such. Abby and I then headed to town for the softball tournament. I was rattled, yet I had to put my coaching hat on for the rest of the day. After the tournament was over I felt like we should go back to the site of the accident. I encouraged Abby, her sister, dad and I to go see the path, that was the one part the officer said that stuck out to me. I had to see the path, all of it.

I decided to start from the beginning this time. Abby fell asleep at the wheel, her car left the road and first missed a tree, then the sign I saw early from a distance was much more than a sign. it was a sign marking a culvert. Her car went OVER the culvert, not around it, over it. There were rubber marks on the concrete from her tires. After driving over the culvert her car then road along the edge of the ditch. At one point we noticed there were only 1 set of tire tracks. Her car didn’t roll. From start to finish her car traveled almost 300m-400m off the road. She didn’t wake up until she was at the last 100m.

How does a car drive OVER a culvert? How does a car drive on one side without rolling? How does a car drive along a ditch and not flip over? How did she sleep through it all? And why didn’t her airbag deploy?

Miracles. Plan a simple miracles. A friend and I were recently discussing what this had to have looked like in the spiritual realm. The amount of angels, the amount of protection, the amount of redirection, the amount of peace she was in to NOT wake up and try to course correct! As insignificant as the driver side airbag not deploying seems, it in and of itself is a miracle. Abby has had numerous concussions. I’m not sure where we would be if that airbag opened. Her last concussion that happened over 2 years ago affected her for 6 months, recovery was awful and she really struggled to get back to normal life.

The miracle rattled me, the path rattled me, the sheer greatness of God rattled me. He saved her. Why? I look to the parents that have lost children, I look to the friends who have lost loved ones in accidents. Why? I don’t know why. I don’t know why he takes some and leaves others. I don’t know why my own father died suddenly at 53 and my daughter was saved. I don’t know, but I trust. I have to. I have to believe His reasons, His plan, His purpose for her life, for my life, and for the lives lost.

She has been given a story. She has been given another chance and for that I am forever grateful. I choose to sit in His plans for all things. I could lose someone tomorrow, I could also see a miracle tomorrow. I am choosing to look for the miracles, small and big and find comfort in a God who saves all of his children, some are saved here and some are saved to His ultimate protection in heaven.

As I contemplate the sheer path it reminds me of our path in life. So many times we coast through life and sometimes we go off the road, sometimes we fall asleep and sometimes we manage to ride on one side of the car not knowing if it might roll and sometimes we drive over an impossible culvert.

I challenge us to REST in his abilities on our path, in His saving grace, in his protection and trust in all He has for us even when it seems impossible.

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:6

Blessings.

 He is the one who saved us and called us with a holy calling, not based on our works but on his own purpose and grace, granted to us in Christ Jesus before time began, 

– 2 Timothy 1:9

Unhindered Prayers: Part 2

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There are certain parts of our past, our story, that we struggle letting go of, we hold on to them too tight. There are certain things that we see in our daily lives that cause us to be hardened because of our past. One of the most difficult ‘things’ for me has been unfaithful men and alcoholism. I’ve seen it destroy families, I’ve seen it sever relationships with parents and children. 

This past month I went on a mission trip with ManUp & Go to Ethiopia and Uganda. What a blessing this trip has been. So much revelation, so much love, and wonderful connections with the beautiful people of Africa.

The last few days in Uganda we visited the Masese Community. A middle age man approached me on the street asking for money. In preparation for this trip we were educated on the importance of giving a hand ‘up’ not a hand ‘out’. Giving a hand out many times causes more harm than good, when what is needed is to be empowered with opportunities to create ways to provide for themselves and their family in a more permanent way instead of a one time hand out. We were called to encourage them in their walk with Christ. Believe me, this was so hard, I wanted to give to everyone. Yet God laid it on my heart to offer prayers instead of money. Talk about taking me out of my comfort zone, I struggle praying in my own church in front of people! So here is my experience of praying with this man pictured above.

I offered to pray with him instead of giving him money and he accepted. In the prayer I asked God to protect him and his family, I asked God to bless him with income, to bless him with abundance, I asked God to give him guidance and for him to know his Savior better, and much more, yet I can’t recall everything I offered up. After I was finished praying with him we parted ways.

One of my friends on the trip asked me if I saw what he had set down before we began to pray? I didn’t see anything. What he sat down was a small bag of alcohol. Somehow I didn’t see it AND I didn’t smell it! Considering my own history with alcohol I was pretty amazing I didn’t recognize it. A few minutes went by and the man came back over to me, and a translator came with him, she explained to me that he didn’t have a family(he wanted me to know this part) and he had many children with many women. At this point I was starting to see him stumbling as well, he was drunk.

My brain, my heart were reeling! “Wait! I just prayed for a man who represents the exact thing I despise!?” He represented what had hurt me so badly in my past. God showed me a very hardened part of my heart, that I “thought” I had let go of. Part of my unsettlement, I believe, came from my own struggles with drinking and promiscuity. I have judged myself as well, and maybe, just maybe, I saw my darkest places in this man and it unhinged me.

In the moment, somehow the Lord blinded me from this man’s failures and from judgement so I could pray unhindered prayers for someone my flesh would have judged otherwise. God showed me His abilities through me when my flesh was out-of-the-way. He showed me his love, for ALL is people, the broken, and the ones I have struggled with forgiving the most.

This is a journal from the day after this event as I was reeling, this is what I felt God was telling me, “Love abides, love is for all children, the lost and the seeking. Find peace in my Spirit. Know that I have a plan for all lives. Even the ones who hurt you. Make peace with it and release them to me.”

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8

All deserve his love, he came for the broken. I should know this because of my own brokenness he has restored. So I rejoice in His abilities through me, when my flesh was blinded and I was able to see broken through His eyes. Judgement is not mine to have. All are loved. All are his children, none more valuable than another. HE HAS A PLAN FOR ALL LIVES!

So here I sit processing all this moment had to offer me, releasing yet other layer to find true freedom and resting in His ever-loving arms. What I was able to offer this man was unhindered prayers, and THAT is the best gift I could have given him, ONLY by the grace of God.

Who do you need to pray unhindered for?

Blessings.

“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Heb 13:5

Unhindered Prayers: Part 1

Mark 11:24 ~ Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

I recently arrived home from a mission trip to Africa(Ethiopia and Uganda) with the organization ManUp & Go. To say my world has been rocked is an understatement. The perspective I have been given about life outside of America is very freeing and very hard. We here battle differently then there, yet we all are in a battle. Coming back from this trip wasn’t as difficult as my first trip to Guatemala, as I was able to see the blessing of organization and the systems we do have in place here, yet the evidence of the distractions we have here is unprecedented.

We have so many opportunities here to make a living and provide for ourselves and our families. I even saw with unfiltered glasses the biggest problem of all, we can do so much here that many times we overlook the need for God. It’s a huge problem, we become our own god, with our own answers, with our own ways and our own means. In this area of Africa they have little distractions and have many times no means to providing for their families so their relationship with the Lord many times is ‘deeper’ due to the NEED. The people of Ethiopia and Uganda are full of love and kindness, accepting us as we are, loving us as we loved on them. To share with them about Jesus was easy, they were seeking hope, and HE is hope. We here in America seek for wealth and happiness through things and stuff, and titles, and performance and awards, many times missing the very hope we need as well. The evil one is crafty keeping us busy on our path to success and many times we miss the many opportunities the Lord puts before us due to distractions and drive to seek “happiness”.

While there the distractions were removed, the titles were removed, the success path was removed which allowed me to see so clearly what God is doing.

There are so many stories I have but I think I’ll start with this one, Simon.

After our Women’s Conference in Uganda they did an altar call. With over 700 women there, the front of the church filled up fast with women coming to receive prayers. We as guests were asked to pray over these women. I will never forget this moment, the sheer power of it all, the praise, the prayer, the Spirit so heavy I could hardly breathe and the tears just flowed. While going up to the women and laying hands on them and praying over them, even though they had no idea what I was saying as many didn’t speak much English, one women grabbed my hand as I laid it on her. She pulled me down to her and said, “Look at my son, Simon! LOOK!” I knew this mean she was asking for prayers for him, yet I had no idea what I was to pray for, so I asked the Lord to help me pray for him. As I prayed for Simon and his mother I felt the spirit lead me to pray healing for him, he looked like a healthy 2 year old to me but I just had a feeling that for her to be so intentional for me to pray for him it must be healing. So I asked the Lord to heal him, body, mind, spirit, emotional trauma, and so on. I honestly don’t remember much of the prayer as it was just pouring out and I felt the Spirit heavy on me. After I prayed for Simon and his mother I went on praying for many others as the Spirit lead until we were done. After the conference we all went outside to prepare to leave, Simon’s mother approached me and said, “Look at him, he is blind.”

I didn’t see it when I was praying, he looked perfectly normal and here I was facing this child with clouded eyes and it was evident. God hid it from me, I truly believe that. He didn’t let me see his blindness as I wouldn’t have been able to pray unhindered prayers over him knowing. God took my flesh out of the way and let me see Simon through His eyes while praying. I remember feeling shook when she told me he was blind, as if I did something wrong, did I pray something I shouldn’t have, what if God doesn’t answer? All the “what if’s” flooded in and then my new sister in Christ Jeanette said to me later that day, “Girl, don’t waste your time praying if you don’t believe Him!” and it rattled me, I thought, how could I pray unhindered? God showed me that HE allowed me to intercede for this young child by blinding me from his condition.

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The next day we went back to the Women’s Conference to help with a feeding program. When we got off the bus we played with the kids for a bit and there was Simon and his mom again. I saw him and went over to them to greet them. As we were playing games with the kids Simon got down out of his mother’s arms and walked right up to me. I could see one of his eyes was tracking me and I scooped him up and hugged him and held him tight. His mother grabbed a translator and brought him to Momma Jeanette and I. The translator told us what she was saying, “Simon is seeing, God has answered my prayers! He is seeing better than he ever has!”

Glory to God!! This is what an unhindered prayer looks like. God didn’t have to show me this, yet I believe He did so I could understand what praying unhindered looks like. To truly believe Him and trust Him in circumstances. I know healing is multifaceted. Many times we pray for physical healing and a person may need emotional healing to get physical results too. I’ve spent years studying healing of the mind, body and spirit. All I know is God showed me something miraculous and let me be a small part by being a vessel for His great work and it didn’t require studying, it required faith and trust in His abilities, not my own.

So I leave this message with you to encourage you to pray unhindered prayers, believe Him, believe in miracles, believe.

Blessings.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:18